Chapter 14 - How to Divorce a Family
Once I could see with clarity what transpired over a mere nine months, I could feel hope for what would be the rest of my life.
T.’s mom took control same as always, but suddenly it felt sinister. When she was buzzing about planning our wedding, it felt supportive and loving, but now it was controlling and manipulative. She decided I could never again be alone with T. The mere chance he would consider trying to remain married to me could not be risked. She told him not to speak to me or text me. She hired the divorce lawyer. She emailed me about getting my things. It was an overcast Friday in April when I realized how dependent I had become on them all. I went from a capable and independent woman completing three years of school with no support to riding downtown in a car with my ex, his mom, and his little sister to file divorce papers. I was furious and ashamed at once—how did I allow this to happen?! It was intolerably absurd. The pretending bothered me most. T. and I could have driven downtown together, sans escort if this was amicable. If this was hostile, I would have to find another means of transportation. This fakeness, the illusion that they cared about me, and the control exerted over T. and me made me sick. I was never more ready to be free.
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